Hatred

I am pure hatred. I think it's the hatred that forms a major component of my blood and not plasma. Present in such high concentrations that my blood has become of the most viscous oily kind. So thick that if I were to cut one of my fingers, it would clot before a drop hits the ground.

Hatred of the most violent burning sort. Take 1000 bell peppers and extract their Capsaicin (N-Vanillyl-8-methyl-6-(E)-noneamide, it is the heat causing element in chillies). Concentrate it further by about 100 times. Now eat it with the strongest variety of wasabi. Imagine of the burning sensation that results. Multiply it by a factor of 1 million. Now you are somewhere near to realising the burns resulting from this hatred. It's eating me inside out.

The resulting wrath is like the shadow of the sun. Vast and encompassing almost everyone without exception. Ironically, the ones I claim I love the most are the ones I hate the most. It makes me question the very reason I love them and then love to hate them. Their existence is a constant reminder of the fact that my love for them is not by choice but by out of choice. I hate not being able to isolate myself, like an island.

Hatred bordering on envy, apathy and contempt, can be triggered into an act of wrath by even the slightest, most mundane of the actions. Like using an aerosol can in a way other than directed or by cracking a joke that has been cracked so many times that it is now fractured or by having false notions about oneself and one's writing skills. Using the word fuck 40 times in 32 lines doesn't make you Kurt fucking Vonnegut, it just shows that you are stupid and your "being" (to be read as a gerund) is more of a liability and a source of pain to 500 other people, at least.

It is in the most sincere and earnest moments of my life that I tell you that I hate each and every one of few. Are there any exceptions to being the object of the last statement? Fuck you, there are none.

I don't know shit about the causality of this post. Maybe I am suffering from a complex, inferiority or superiority. Maybe I am just tired of pretending/believing that I can co-exist with all of you. Maybe I am one of those puritan(to be used in the most liberal sense of the word and not to be related with just religion and morals) shitheads who cannot tolerate inhumanity and stupidity. Maybe because I am too irritable. Maybe because I have too many mosquito bites that are freaking me out. Maybe I hold people around me responsible for my failure. Maybe I don't like people trying to be me. Maybe I am sleep deprived. Maybe I am a jackass. Maybe I am too stoned to make any sense. I don't know and I don't give a fuck. I am just too tired of this "hating the guts of people around me" business and what freaks me out is that I cannot possibly do anything about it. It's not deliberate. This loathing is something I was born with.

Screw you all, I am not giving any of you anymore of my time. Figure something out. I will, till then, try not to cross paths with you. Once you figure out, you would not cross your paths with mine. I accept it.