My Wish List

As it is, I am a man of limited needs. Still I require the following:

1. Porta-Spine: This is the only thing that can help spineless people like me. There is no way anyone can inculcate me with patience, self control and self esteem. These three virtues are like columns of the spine. No columns, no spine. Therefore, I need a strap-on spine. Easy to put on and effective. Something that can hold my back and yet look good. The advantages are innumerable:

- I can then say no to people.
- I will stop persuading people into talking to me especially when they don't want to. It's not as if I do that with everyone, just certain "friends" who have been acting too pricey lately.
- I can stand by my claims of a)being a nihilist b)being in the state of Zen.
- I will finally pick up the guitar and play rather than looking at it everyday and fantasizing about playing it like this man.
- I will commit to something at least.
- When confronted with an absolutely horrible and insensitive person, I would know exactly what to say and then say it.
- I will study and then get a Nobel Prize in Chemistry for my excellence in the field of research of "Adiabatic Quantum Computing".
- I will stop leaning on people for support.
- many more

I just hope that Porta Spine doesn't cost much.

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2. Can of Lovely Conversations: Imagine. Sitting in a lonely spot at 4 in the morning with nobody around. Heat is getting to your head and you don't know what is it that makes you so queasy. Just then, you reach into the bag and pull out a 40 minute Can of Lovely Conversation, that too with a girl with whom you always wanted to chat. You drink on her words as they flow out of the can. Solace. There would be a plenty of varieties available. Based on

- Duration of the conversation. 20 minutes, 40 minutes, 80 minutes, 120 minutes etc.
- Sexuality of the conversation. Typically Male, Typically Female, Transsexual so on and so forth.
- Type of conversation. Intellectual, Cheesy, Comforting, Artsy, Encouraging, Profane, Intoxicated etc. etc.

So if you want a 20 minute Typically Female Profane Can of Lovely Conversations, you would get it :D (couldn't help putting it here).

Then there would be custom varieties, you could order something like

- Conversation with a young adult, female, interested in Literature, intelligent, sensitive, open to falling in love, not already in love and more.

Of course these would cost one a lot and one would have to get some 400 cans of 80 minute conversations, in order to get through an ordeal like "Graduation from IIT". These cans are going to be a great hit. "Conversations with Personality" should be the motto.

The primitive versions of Can of Lovely Conversations are out in the market and are called "Cellphone with tariff vouchers", "Orkut", "Gtalk", "Skype" etc.
The only bug with these is that the conversations take place with real people who have over sized egos.
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Disclaimer: These are the two most wanted things today. This "want" is a byproduct of ennui and lack of solace. There are less abstract ways of getting rid of boredom and finding solace. Therefore, the new wish list, with more materialistic and gettable demands would look like -

1. iPod 80 GB - 1 Nos
2. Sony Vaio VGN-TXN29N Notebook
3. Nikon DSLR Camera (any model)
4. A Cooler (AC really but wont be able to install it)
5. 500 bottles of chilled Flavoured Milk
6. Domino's Cheese Burst Double Cheese Pizza
7. Talktime of 3000 rupees
8. Syed Yaser Ali
9. Aditya Gupta
10. You. (not exactly any "you" but YOU)

Then I shall find solace, temporarily. Though my dad certainly won't. As I said earlier, I am a man of limited needs.