Distortion
IIT Kanpur is not a place where you'd want to be up at 6 in the morning with:
1. An empty wallet.
2. No one around (because of a stupid exam that you are going to take next year).
3. Empty cigarette packets.
4. A next door neighbor whose immediate priority is burning the newspapers present in his room because they smell like his semen (understandably).
5. Nothing to eat.
6. A strong desire to do nothing.
7. Empty stomach.
All this because that is the time of the day when you can think about nothing but food. The resulting desire to eat is so immense that it suppresses every other thought that you might have. Shit hits the fan when you realise that you don't have money and you can't borrow money because there is no one around and to top it all you don't want to move out of your room because its too fucking cold outside. Then all you can do is just wait for the mess to open at 7:30. That doesn't sound like a difficult thing to do, but then again God loves to play dice with our lives. If you decide to go off to sleep (there is a good chance that you will) you are in for more and more pain. There is a very high probability that you are not going to wake up before 10:30, the time by which the mess stops serving breakfast. Therefore you will have to wait till lunch which won't be served till 12 noon.
The idea is to come up with something that is entertaining and engrossing. The only thing that came to my head in this situation was - a date with a girl. An affable and simplistic date which I got, most unexpectedly.
Given that:
1. All the members of Fire and Death brotherhood (barring Khetan) are not eligible enough (in terms of coolness) for a date with a real girl.
2. There is a serious lack of "real" girls at IIT Kanpur.
3. There is a more serious lack of girls at IIT Kanpur ready to go out at 6 in the morning.
4. There is no such thing as "an affable conversation with a girl" especially when you are talking about dates.
my date sounds fictitious. Well it is sort of fictitious, just that it happened and it wasn't imaginary. Think about it, what do you need in a girl? I agree that it is a very subjective question and people have answered it in form of prose, ode, essay and probably even PhD thesis. But to put very simply, in order to enjoy a good date, the girl should be sensuous, adventurous, verbose, intelligent (by your standards), outgoing, mystical and accommodating. Add to it a flirtatious brush of her hand against yours and you will have a winner. Now this combination of qualities is something really really hard to find and by my experience probably doesn't even exist. There is always one thing or the other lacking and the closest I could come to finding a perfect girl was when I was listening to songs in the morning.
Give it a thought, there are Jessica and Melissa by the Allman Brothers. Sheer work of art. So sensuous, so diverse, so digressing yet sticking to what they were meant to be. If you have heard these two songs you would agree that they are almost precise descriptions of girls who don't have a way with words but their actions, movements are nearly enough to make you orgasmic. Had they been real girls, they would have just slid and tapped their way into your heart. The way Jessica proceeds is akin to moving your index finger on a girl's body while being blindfolded. The way you realise highs and lows in the song is similar to indentifying the curves in the body.
Moving along there is enigmatic Lady Madonna, Peggy Sue, Sexy Sadie (The Beatles), each with her mystifying charm. Even though Penny Lane doesn't sound like a girl, the name would remind you of lovely Kate Hudson from "Almost Famous" and when has that been unpleasant. If you have a thing for French girls, there is Michelle. If you are into German girls, I am sorry Rammestein didn't come out with any good enough songs I can write about.
For the intelligent masochistic ones there is Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel along with Bob Dylan's Sarah Jane, Sally Sue Brown, Mary Ann and Bessie Smith. To an extent Eleanor Rigby fits this description too just that she is a bit old and lonely. If you are the kind of person who cherishes pursuing difficult girls there is Layla.
There are Suzie Q, Gloria, Darlene and Lyla to satisfy your wild side and Iris, who is more for those who might think that 90s are more like it and the 60s and 70s were a sham. For those who dig heartbreaks, nobody does it better than Angie. For people like Soham and Sam there is Lola, now what more can you ask for?
They don't demand anything. They are there to please you. To take you out of your miseries. To make you lose your mind exactly the way you want to. They will be there no matter whether you pay them a visit every now and then or not.
Of course, tangibility is one concern but you can always accommodate all of them with a flesh and bone girl. Just imagine, you spend your entire day with these lovely ladies and come back to your not so perfect partner without her ever having to doubt you for being promiscuous.
With these girls, it is an almost perfect speed dating evening (morning) with the only catch being that the distortion in the amp tends to bring you back to reality rather suddenly.
Oh fuck, even though I don't want to, I need to go out with a real girl real soon or I would always be stuck in fantasies. Amp or no amp, fuck the distortion!
Epilogue: Sunday morning mess paav bhaaji with eggs is a "Fuck-my-mother meets Yeah-baby!-Say-my-name meets I-am-Twanty" combination. This is an internal joke :|
1. An empty wallet.
2. No one around (because of a stupid exam that you are going to take next year).
3. Empty cigarette packets.
4. A next door neighbor whose immediate priority is burning the newspapers present in his room because they smell like his semen (understandably).
5. Nothing to eat.
6. A strong desire to do nothing.
7. Empty stomach.
All this because that is the time of the day when you can think about nothing but food. The resulting desire to eat is so immense that it suppresses every other thought that you might have. Shit hits the fan when you realise that you don't have money and you can't borrow money because there is no one around and to top it all you don't want to move out of your room because its too fucking cold outside. Then all you can do is just wait for the mess to open at 7:30. That doesn't sound like a difficult thing to do, but then again God loves to play dice with our lives. If you decide to go off to sleep (there is a good chance that you will) you are in for more and more pain. There is a very high probability that you are not going to wake up before 10:30, the time by which the mess stops serving breakfast. Therefore you will have to wait till lunch which won't be served till 12 noon.
The idea is to come up with something that is entertaining and engrossing. The only thing that came to my head in this situation was - a date with a girl. An affable and simplistic date which I got, most unexpectedly.
Given that:
1. All the members of Fire and Death brotherhood (barring Khetan) are not eligible enough (in terms of coolness) for a date with a real girl.
2. There is a serious lack of "real" girls at IIT Kanpur.
3. There is a more serious lack of girls at IIT Kanpur ready to go out at 6 in the morning.
4. There is no such thing as "an affable conversation with a girl" especially when you are talking about dates.
my date sounds fictitious. Well it is sort of fictitious, just that it happened and it wasn't imaginary. Think about it, what do you need in a girl? I agree that it is a very subjective question and people have answered it in form of prose, ode, essay and probably even PhD thesis. But to put very simply, in order to enjoy a good date, the girl should be sensuous, adventurous, verbose, intelligent (by your standards), outgoing, mystical and accommodating. Add to it a flirtatious brush of her hand against yours and you will have a winner. Now this combination of qualities is something really really hard to find and by my experience probably doesn't even exist. There is always one thing or the other lacking and the closest I could come to finding a perfect girl was when I was listening to songs in the morning.
Give it a thought, there are Jessica and Melissa by the Allman Brothers. Sheer work of art. So sensuous, so diverse, so digressing yet sticking to what they were meant to be. If you have heard these two songs you would agree that they are almost precise descriptions of girls who don't have a way with words but their actions, movements are nearly enough to make you orgasmic. Had they been real girls, they would have just slid and tapped their way into your heart. The way Jessica proceeds is akin to moving your index finger on a girl's body while being blindfolded. The way you realise highs and lows in the song is similar to indentifying the curves in the body.
Moving along there is enigmatic Lady Madonna, Peggy Sue, Sexy Sadie (The Beatles), each with her mystifying charm. Even though Penny Lane doesn't sound like a girl, the name would remind you of lovely Kate Hudson from "Almost Famous" and when has that been unpleasant. If you have a thing for French girls, there is Michelle. If you are into German girls, I am sorry Rammestein didn't come out with any good enough songs I can write about.
For the intelligent masochistic ones there is Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel along with Bob Dylan's Sarah Jane, Sally Sue Brown, Mary Ann and Bessie Smith. To an extent Eleanor Rigby fits this description too just that she is a bit old and lonely. If you are the kind of person who cherishes pursuing difficult girls there is Layla.
There are Suzie Q, Gloria, Darlene and Lyla to satisfy your wild side and Iris, who is more for those who might think that 90s are more like it and the 60s and 70s were a sham. For those who dig heartbreaks, nobody does it better than Angie. For people like Soham and Sam there is Lola, now what more can you ask for?
They don't demand anything. They are there to please you. To take you out of your miseries. To make you lose your mind exactly the way you want to. They will be there no matter whether you pay them a visit every now and then or not.
Of course, tangibility is one concern but you can always accommodate all of them with a flesh and bone girl. Just imagine, you spend your entire day with these lovely ladies and come back to your not so perfect partner without her ever having to doubt you for being promiscuous.
With these girls, it is an almost perfect speed dating evening (morning) with the only catch being that the distortion in the amp tends to bring you back to reality rather suddenly.
Oh fuck, even though I don't want to, I need to go out with a real girl real soon or I would always be stuck in fantasies. Amp or no amp, fuck the distortion!
Epilogue: Sunday morning mess paav bhaaji with eggs is a "Fuck-my-mother meets Yeah-baby!-Say-my-name meets I-am-Twanty" combination. This is an internal joke :|
posted by Prashant Gautam at 7:54 AM
11 Comments:
I will always be thankful to you :) so many songs :D
BTW you could have avoided thinking this much and be in zen if you had asked me to bring something to eat from MT. Anyways, it's always exciting to read your post.
As there are many profile viewers, I won't write all that I want to say. :D
For a minute there you had me thinking that you had started a fling with some real girl while all of us were gone. Would have preferred it that way. Your post just depresses me further.
Favourites in that list would be Melissa and Angie. But you had to throw in that Lola reference right??
Oh yeah - Penny Lane always reminds me of Kate Hudson from Almost Famous. Some role, that was.
Awesome...
except that Sexy Sadie isn't about a girl.
@Shantanu
Glad you liked it. We know Sexy Sadie isn't about a girl. Just that the song fits well on most of the girls :)
Notes:
1. For the Vaibhav Gautam type there is Lady Marmalade.
2. You should put ze amp to your crotch and play "Hold My Hand" by Hootie and the Blowfish when subjected to long and lonely nights.
nice perspective....
I recalled some more females from songs while I read your post:
a. There is the masochistic girl from Norwegian Wood
b.And the strong character of Guelah Papyrus(Phish)
c.Plus the sweet n' sexy Honky Tonk Women...
Btw I always thought that Penny Lane was named after the song(was she?)
I like the pulse of your writing.You forgot 'Polly' by Nirvana though...that song is altogether something else man!
sam calls you bhadwa
i had almost believed your morning date was for real, but then i realized how hard it is for your kinda guys to find girls that fit into the description you just gave. now dont even think about getting into a peremptory session of "divita, what do u mean by MY KINDA GUYS?!" because i dont want to answer to that, for the benefit of all guy-kind.
love your post, as always.
love the song layla. love eric clapton for layla and cocaine.
chal ek aur likh
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