Mom Can I Start Smoking?
CONVERSATION 1:
this is a telephonic conversation!
ME: Hey mom!
Mom: Hi! How is everything going? Doing your course well?
ME: (irritated) Yeah.. its going well!
Mom: How much did you score in the mid semesters?
ME: 25 out of 40
Mom: okay.. what is the highest?
ME: 28
Mom: Well done...
ME: Oh come on ma.. it is a repeat course I am doing! I was supposed to get more than 35.. Please dont celebrate mediocrity!
Mom: eh? I was just trying to motivate you.. Why you getting so upset?
ME:(still irritated) No nothing! I am fine!
Mom: Had food?
ME: Yeah ( I meant no)
Mom: What else? Going to the class regulary?
ME: Yeah (I meant no)
Mom: What is all the noise in the background?
ME: Nothing.. Just vehicles.. Am walking on the road to the shopping centre..
Mom: In this heat?
ME: Its not hot.. It is cloudy (not a single cloud to be seen within miles)
Mom: We are planning to come to your college to see to your well being. Your dad...
ME:(interrupting) Oh no please dont! I am fine! In fact I was planning to come back home...
Mom: Why cant we come there?
ME: No, you can come but its like it will all be nothing but trouble.. I am doing fine anyway! (was I?)
Mom: (she must have been smiling) Afraid that we might come to know what you are upto?
ME: (dead afraid) Pfft.... No.. no (I meant yes all way long)
Silence for 5 seconds
ME: So how are your patients? (I meant to ask about Dad)
Mom: They are getting better.. What a silly question!
ME: Yeah....
Another awkward silence
Mom: Something wrong? You want to say something?
ME: No..(I meant Yes again... how in the world does she always know such things)
ME: Well... Can I start smoking?
Mom: Huh?? What?
ME: I asked if I can start smoking...
Mom: Oh really!! Why?
ME: Just like that.. No specific reasons!
Mom: Yeh bhi koi baat hui?
ME: Arey.. I want to do it!
Mom: Do any of your friends smoke?
ME: No they dont.... I wont do it just because my friends are doing it!!( would i?)
Mom: Then? Dont talk bullshit.. You depressed or anything?
ME: No( i am about to commit suicide)
Mom: Then?
ME: Wait.. does it mean that i can smoke if I am depressed?
Mom: No way! Dont act smart mister!
ME: Please.. Please.. It is such style!
Mom: Yeah you know what else is style? Clearing every course in one go with good grades!
ME: I'll do that the next semester! I am working on it!
Mom: You better do that.. I think we should come down!
ME: No dont please dont... I was just kidding! You know I cannot do such a thing!
Mom: Yeah i do... And this was a very poor joke..
ME: Yeah i wont smoke... I mean I cant trust me (why did I even ask in the first place?)
Mom: Okay... Take care.. Tell me if you need anything.
ME: Nah its ok..
Mom: And go to classes
ME: Yeah
Mom: And eat food properly
ME: Yeah
Mom: Chalo Bye
ME: Yeah..
CLICK
****************************************END**************************************
2 minutes later
CONVERSATION 2:
ME: Bhaiya ek Wills Classic dena.. aur maachis bhi..
Paanwaale Bhaiya: saadhe chaar rupaye ho gaye
ME: Hmm..
***************************************************END***************************
AS I SMOKED MY WAY BACK TO THE ROOM THIS IS WHAT WENT THROUGH MY MIND
* Why did I do it?
* Why did I call her up when I knew I was going to smoke anyway?
* Does she really trust me?
* Whats the tingling sensation in my nose?
* Did I give the paanwala a 100 rupee note or a 50 rupee note?
* Will she really come down here?
* AAHHH...
* I wish life was not made of moments but of puffs.... Then I could say "It was all over in a puff"...
* Why is that girl staring at me?
* Does it have anything to do with my cigarette?
* Where is my wallet?
* Would I attract attention if I looked frantically?
* Have i left it at the paanwaala's shop?
* Shit I have... Run back
AS I RAN BACK TO THE PAAN SHOP THIS IS WHAT WENT TO MY MIND
* Shit man... Fuck... Fuck...
* Holy Shit...
* Am tired must not run
* How much money did I have?
* Forget the money fucker.. you have a credit card and an ATM card in you wallet
* Shit man.... Fuck.. Fuck...
* Has the credit card expired?
* Yeah right.. this is what you should be worrying about
* I am a loser of an ass
* This is all cigarette's fault
* God is punishing me for betraying my parents' trust
* I hope the paan waala gives it back to me
* Yes he will, if he has it...
* he is a nice guy.. I can trust him
* Oooh nice chick
* Forget the nice chick and run fucker...
* oh... humpf... man..*panting* trust is *gasping* the most important thing
* Never again.. No more smoking
* I am a bad person
* Man it took me a lot less time when i was walking
SO I REACHED THE PAANWALA'S SHOP
CONVERSATION 3:
ME: Bhaiya main apna purse bhool gaya...
Paanwala: Aapka hai na purse... Hum bhi wahi dekh rahe thay.. Sambhal kar rakha kijiyega
ME: Haan bhaiya.. who aise hi chhoot gaya...
Paanwala: Dekh lijiye paise hain ki nahi pooray..
ME: Nahi bhaiya theek hai... bharosa hai itna toh...
ME: (to myself)Trust IS the most important thing...
ME:Bhaiya ek Classic aur dena..
ME: (to myself) I wont do it again..
********************THE END**********************
this is a telephonic conversation!
ME: Hey mom!
Mom: Hi! How is everything going? Doing your course well?
ME: (irritated) Yeah.. its going well!
Mom: How much did you score in the mid semesters?
ME: 25 out of 40
Mom: okay.. what is the highest?
ME: 28
Mom: Well done...
ME: Oh come on ma.. it is a repeat course I am doing! I was supposed to get more than 35.. Please dont celebrate mediocrity!
Mom: eh? I was just trying to motivate you.. Why you getting so upset?
ME:(still irritated) No nothing! I am fine!
Mom: Had food?
ME: Yeah ( I meant no)
Mom: What else? Going to the class regulary?
ME: Yeah (I meant no)
Mom: What is all the noise in the background?
ME: Nothing.. Just vehicles.. Am walking on the road to the shopping centre..
Mom: In this heat?
ME: Its not hot.. It is cloudy (not a single cloud to be seen within miles)
Mom: We are planning to come to your college to see to your well being. Your dad...
ME:(interrupting) Oh no please dont! I am fine! In fact I was planning to come back home...
Mom: Why cant we come there?
ME: No, you can come but its like it will all be nothing but trouble.. I am doing fine anyway! (was I?)
Mom: (she must have been smiling) Afraid that we might come to know what you are upto?
ME: (dead afraid) Pfft.... No.. no (I meant yes all way long)
Silence for 5 seconds
ME: So how are your patients? (I meant to ask about Dad)
Mom: They are getting better.. What a silly question!
ME: Yeah....
Another awkward silence
Mom: Something wrong? You want to say something?
ME: No..(I meant Yes again... how in the world does she always know such things)
ME: Well... Can I start smoking?
Mom: Huh?? What?
ME: I asked if I can start smoking...
Mom: Oh really!! Why?
ME: Just like that.. No specific reasons!
Mom: Yeh bhi koi baat hui?
ME: Arey.. I want to do it!
Mom: Do any of your friends smoke?
ME: No they dont.... I wont do it just because my friends are doing it!!( would i?)
Mom: Then? Dont talk bullshit.. You depressed or anything?
ME: No( i am about to commit suicide)
Mom: Then?
ME: Wait.. does it mean that i can smoke if I am depressed?
Mom: No way! Dont act smart mister!
ME: Please.. Please.. It is such style!
Mom: Yeah you know what else is style? Clearing every course in one go with good grades!
ME: I'll do that the next semester! I am working on it!
Mom: You better do that.. I think we should come down!
ME: No dont please dont... I was just kidding! You know I cannot do such a thing!
Mom: Yeah i do... And this was a very poor joke..
ME: Yeah i wont smoke... I mean I cant trust me (why did I even ask in the first place?)
Mom: Okay... Take care.. Tell me if you need anything.
ME: Nah its ok..
Mom: And go to classes
ME: Yeah
Mom: And eat food properly
ME: Yeah
Mom: Chalo Bye
ME: Yeah..
CLICK
****************************************END**************************************
2 minutes later
CONVERSATION 2:
ME: Bhaiya ek Wills Classic dena.. aur maachis bhi..
Paanwaale Bhaiya: saadhe chaar rupaye ho gaye
ME: Hmm..
***************************************************END***************************
AS I SMOKED MY WAY BACK TO THE ROOM THIS IS WHAT WENT THROUGH MY MIND
* Why did I do it?
* Why did I call her up when I knew I was going to smoke anyway?
* Does she really trust me?
* Whats the tingling sensation in my nose?
* Did I give the paanwala a 100 rupee note or a 50 rupee note?
* Will she really come down here?
* AAHHH...
* I wish life was not made of moments but of puffs.... Then I could say "It was all over in a puff"...
* Why is that girl staring at me?
* Does it have anything to do with my cigarette?
* Where is my wallet?
* Would I attract attention if I looked frantically?
* Have i left it at the paanwaala's shop?
* Shit I have... Run back
AS I RAN BACK TO THE PAAN SHOP THIS IS WHAT WENT TO MY MIND
* Shit man... Fuck... Fuck...
* Holy Shit...
* Am tired must not run
* How much money did I have?
* Forget the money fucker.. you have a credit card and an ATM card in you wallet
* Shit man.... Fuck.. Fuck...
* Has the credit card expired?
* Yeah right.. this is what you should be worrying about
* I am a loser of an ass
* This is all cigarette's fault
* God is punishing me for betraying my parents' trust
* I hope the paan waala gives it back to me
* Yes he will, if he has it...
* he is a nice guy.. I can trust him
* Oooh nice chick
* Forget the nice chick and run fucker...
* oh... humpf... man..*panting* trust is *gasping* the most important thing
* Never again.. No more smoking
* I am a bad person
* Man it took me a lot less time when i was walking
SO I REACHED THE PAANWALA'S SHOP
CONVERSATION 3:
ME: Bhaiya main apna purse bhool gaya...
Paanwala: Aapka hai na purse... Hum bhi wahi dekh rahe thay.. Sambhal kar rakha kijiyega
ME: Haan bhaiya.. who aise hi chhoot gaya...
Paanwala: Dekh lijiye paise hain ki nahi pooray..
ME: Nahi bhaiya theek hai... bharosa hai itna toh...
ME: (to myself)Trust IS the most important thing...
ME:Bhaiya ek Classic aur dena..
ME: (to myself) I wont do it again..
********************THE END**********************
posted by Prashant Gautam at 6:52 PM
4 Comments:
If my memory isn't playing tricks, you promised me on the 12th of june that you had quit smoking.
I think I'll give your mom the link to this page...... that'll do you a whole lot of good maybe.
On second thoughts, lets see how your dad's visit goes, heehee. Shall serve you right.
yeah it is true.. but i have quit smoking people!!
It is the worst thing you can do.. honestly!
Though your head spins and everything but its not worth it!
And would somebody mind commenting on my writing style???
Hellew.. expecting a little appreciation here!!
As Bacon puts it
"If you can't see value here today you're not up here
shopping, you're up here shoplifting..."
Try to set up an analogy or something.. Just make some sense out of it..
Frankly, very impressive!
Seems like the words have flown from the mind directly on to the keyboard.
WOW!!! Man…
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