In Love.. naah, just a delusion!

hey
why is it that you cannot fall in love with a person you havent even met or seen? I am not talking about those muah muah love stories that flourish via the internet.. ok, the net is the media here but it is certainly not muah muah..
Before i start telling the tale.. let me clarify what love is(can be too subjective, so i should be pardoned if i manage to leave out something)..

1. A feeling of intense desire or affection towards a person with whom one is disposed to make a pairl; the emotion of sex and romance.
2. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object
3. Often used as a term of endearment
4. ......
5. more dots
6. (my personal favourite) A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.( yeah yeah i know it sounds sissy, but is pretty accurate)

What is to be noticed is that none of the definitions produced above say anything about physical attraction or agendas and such crap(i chose not to write :) )...

Going by the sixth definition, we fall in love because of the "recognition" of the "attractive qualities" and due to developement of a sense of "underlying oneness".. where does it say that you have to meet a person or talk to her or see her or whatever...

Now, I come to my tale...
As usual, having nothing to do, i am browsing by the blogs... and then suddenly i come across a blog of a girl who has rather corny taste when it comes to templates but is gifted with such crafty writing skills that you cannot help but fall in love...

She is 18/19... is well read.. has good sense of humor(at least it seems)... is passionate.. etc. etc.
This is what i had been looking for in a girl..(i cannot answer why was i looking for a girl, take it to be a hormone induced desire, fuelled by spacio-temporal conditions, namely IIT)...

So, i just tell her that i love her and she chooses to ignore it.. WHY?

Ok, i know this is India(or south east asia to be less regional) and because we have a screwed up sex ratio, all the men tend to fall in love with the first girl they see, for they fear that they might not get anything else.. If it is not instantaneous, they gradually get accustomed to it(why do you think arranged marriages are a success here and not ahywhere else).. This leads to insecurity among girls and so they do not pay heed to such proposals..(This is an idea, totally out my crooked brains and may be wrong.. i prefer to live illusioned... gets you the answers anyways)..

Am absolutely sure when i say this, I didnt have an agenda on my mind when i fell in love with her.. I just did... (warning: what is to come is absolutely cliched and i would hate myself forever for writing it, but somethings have to be done for the sake of truth).. what my mind was telling me to do, without caring for the results. I didnt ask her to fall in love with me, coz i might not fit her bill.. At least the fact should be acknowledged that I am a human feeling and have fallen in love.. This is not a joke so kindly stop laughing... This is rather one-sided...

The purpose of this post was to figure out what have i been feeling(you tend to get answers more quickly if you wriite them)... and it comes to this... I am certainly in love, maybe not with the person but with her skills(on second thoughts, it is the person)... Whatever.. am confused... need to think more.. no have thought enough..

I'll just live with it...
Shit man, why is it that the person you need the most is, always, miles away from you?

I am not making a big deal out of anything..

Next time if anybody tells you that they are in love...
Kindly believe..!

Thanks..

Dedications: This is a song which accurately describes my feelings, by No Vacancy...




Heal me, i'm heartsick
I'm hungry and i'm broken
I'm haunted, and weeping
The blood of heaven flowing like a river tonite,
tears i can't fight on my own
I'm a haunted, heaving,
i'm hung and barely breathing
The drowning ocean,
snuff the sun in motion.
Theres a pill on my tongue,
a shot from a gun , the bottles bottom
I'm lonely as a star

So heal me, i'm heart sick
Hungry, but i can survive on you
Heal my heartsick hungry cries
I'm heartsick

Father, free me. mama , woman, feed me.
Child of fury, lost his way but don't worry.
I won't stop til the dawn,
Though i'm in too long on the run i grow strongad restless as a dog

Heal me
I'm heart sick
I'm hungry and i'm broken
I'm haunted, and weeping
The blood of heaven flowing like a river tonite
Tears i can't fight on my own